Young Dumb & Broke
WE WILL GET YOU HIGH
Expect Nothing Else
Our Company.
Here at Young Dumb & Broke, we think, we are a synergistic company, but we don’t know, what that word means. And we don’t use algorithms, for that, exact, same reason. We are overly confident and inexperienced. What we lack In knowledge, we also lack in understanding. Our confidence isn’t warranted nor is our mothers’ pride.
We specialize in unicorn shit.
Our Founders.
We cant confirm or deny if this is a picture of one of our founders
While much of today’s cannabis industry, has been built by criminals smart enough not to get caught. We are not part of said group and we have, the records to prove it.
We are NOT wet behind the ears, we have weeks, plus days, of cumulative experience. Our understanding of the market is conceptual, as well as figurative, and deeply rooted in our vivid and active imaginations.
Our Commitment to You.
We will over promise and under deliver, every time.
We might not know how many grams are in a pound but we have high hopes and smart phones.
Our Team.
Our team, is comprised of individuals who have applied, to work, at some of the leading companies, in this industry. Some, even met them at trade shows, where they snuck in. (Our commitment to you, we won’t waste, your money nor our money, on tickets).
Each team member, is equipped with a plethora of titles and very little information. If you need a manager, they are the manager. If you need an answer to a your question, try not being so nosey. We wouldn’t know, on a good day, so ask someone else. (Our commitment to you, all of our team members suffer from the Dunning-Kruger effect or we won’t hire them.)
All of our systems, can efficiently be described in one word- inefficient.
We are indirect to all our farms.
Our Farms.
We are told, our farms are hand selected, based on who someone, who knows someone, who once knew someone, who might know someone who grows, may know.
As for our unicorns, we require all of unicorns farms, to provide the exact treatment, other gourmet products, like veal and foie gras receive- no exceptions!
Our Methods.
Our methods include close loop, open loop, butane, high octane… hell, we have seen this made with a car radiator before. We take a hands off approach because like you, we don’t care.
Our Strains.
It could be sativa, it could be indica, maybe a cross… hell, it might be hemp. We don’t know, we only know, that it will get you high. That’s why, it’s the only thing we guarantee.
Our Only Guarantee.
We will get you high.
Our Products.
Here at Young Dumb & Broke, we take a hands off approach, to our exits and inputs. If we are not adding at least two points for brokers, who do nothing to make our products, then we are not doing our jobs. The majority of our products test high in THC, because they are infused with unicorn dust, unicorn piss, and high hopes.
We can’t confirm or deny, if any unicorns were harmed or seriously maimed in the making of these products.
What we lack in consistency, price, and quality, we make up for, in our ability, to get you high.
Our Family of Products are
Made in the USA
with Love & Entitlement
Contact us.
Our Hours.
12pm to 2pm with a 70% chance we will answer
If you call 3 times in a day, we will block you.
Our Virtual Assistant.
Is named Hope and she’s a real bitch.
FAQs
Can I speak to a manager?
I am the manager.
Can I make a return?
No, you should have spent more time researching what you wanted before clicking submit.
I was sent a gift, can I return that?
Again no. Someone spent time thinking of you. Don’t be a dick and just say thank you and regift like a normal person.
Can I do an exchange then?
What did I just tell you on the previous question.
Why can’t I get my money back?
Because, I made terrible life choices and I need to pay off my student loans.
Do you offer LiveChat support?
Unless you want to walk me through several existential crises at 3:05 am then no.
Do you price match?
Do you know how a small business works? No. Go fuck yourself.
What strain is this?
Yours. You bought it.
Can I write a review of your products?
Only If I can edit your response and praise my job skills for the next job I am applying to on company time.
Do you charge sales tax?
In America we tax it all. And now I am taxing you for that dumb question.
Can I be an influencer on either IG, Twitter or YT?
Only if you add me and send me 50% of the swag you bring in and 70% of your gross. You don’t need all those makeup pallets and based on the previous question, you already have tax problems.
Who do I call when my order is delayed?
Patience is a virtue and I suggest you just hang in there.
I have a question but it isn’t answered in this FAQ. Who can I email?
This is what you need to do: on a dark, cloudless night, you need to go to the darkest part of the forest. At the spot in the forest I need you to take a beverage and pour it in a circle. Lets call this beverage a Fountain of Few (*hint* *hint*) and whisper into the nothingness the following: “My third grade teacher was wrong. There is such a thing as a dumb fucking question.”
I am looking for a product that was on your site a year ago. Can you sell it again?
If you didn’t get it then, then it wasn’t mean to be. Just like my dating life.
You’re such a bitch. Is it safe to give you my credit card information?
Shockingly I am insanely trust worthy. I’m just a straight up bitch.
What is your privacy policy?
Essentially it is simple: all information is stored in my slam book from 6th grade.
Why am i coughing?
The cough is caused by the quality of the weed, not the pesticides.
Are you going to do stupid bullshit for your whole life?
Do you mean for work or in general? Either way, the answer, is going to be a strongly worded, yes.